Tuesday 27 January 2015

Healthy body, healthy mind

If you have been following my Facebook posts recently you will know I have taken up running. Now that I have found a way of pacing myself and building up my stamina it is a really enjoyable past time. I am finding that as I am wrestling with this IVF decision going for a run is a great way of clearing my head and relieving stress. I have had a lot of advice about taking up running and people have told me it works well if you have a goal. I have found that, for me a distance or race goal doesn't motivate me. Inevitably, my main goal in life is to be Mum! I realised while out running this morning that I can make that work for running too! So my goal is to make sure my mind and body are as healthy and vibrant as possible. It is a way I can take control of preparing myself for motherhood in whatever way it happens for us! The way I see it I am making sure my body is as fit as possible to cope with pregnancy and/or IVF if we go down that road or to cope with the physical aspects of adopting. The mood boost I get from running also means I'm taking control of preparing myself for the emotional toll of whatever road we take. I also find I can pray more easily after a run. Win win!

Saturday 24 January 2015

The art of being thankful

In recent months I have been challenged to give thanks as a way of life. So, after the trauma of yesterday I've decided to make a list of 10 things to be thankful for from yesterday:
1. I am thankful I have a God who loves me and values me and wants only good things for me.
2. I am thankful I have a husband who loves me and values me and wants only good things for me.
3 I am thankful Neil could get the whole morning off and we had time to debrief together.
4. I am thankful for the other couples in the waiting room, a reminder we are not the only ones going through this.
5. I am thankful that I had a bit of time before work but also that I could work all evening and today, a useful distraction.
6. I am thankful that I was on with a sympathetic colleague last night who was willing to listen and even give me a hug despite having to step out of her comfort zone to do so.
7. I am thankful for one of the ladies I support who spent the entire evening saying "I love you so much".
8. I am thankful there was chocolate cake at work.
9. I am thankful for supportive family and friends.
10. I am thankful for this blog and the sensitivity with which is been received.

Friday 23 January 2015

A big decision

I have started this blog as a way of ordering my thoughts during the arduous journey of infertility treatment. Will try to give an honest account of what it's like as a Christian couple going through this.
So, this morning we had a much anticipated review appointment with my consultant. We thought we were there to discuss how I got on with the fertility drugs I was on and whether I should continue or try something else. He thought it was a review based on the appointment with the geneticist (which was in May!) He forgot I had polycystic ovaries and had irregular cycles and had no idea I had been on the medication. I felt like I was being told of because they didn't have a record of my geneticist appointment and I didn't take it with me as it was almost a year ago! He basically said that as nothing else has worked our only option is IVF. So that's the big decision. I think there may be other options but was caught off guard today and didn't feel I could ask about them. I have another appointment in a month so will write everything down and try to have more of a discussion. We had previously decided that if it came to this we would adopt rather than go down the IVF route but now we are actually here I don't know! It's very easy to make a decision when you think you have more options. I now it is a hard process and there are ethical considerations. I'm just not sure I'm ready to give up on being pregnant. I also know that many people find one they start the adoption process they fall pregnant naturally, but many don't. I know that God can do miracles but the reality is, here and now, I have to prepare myself that this may never work for us. I love the idea of adoption just didn't expect to be here quite so soon.